how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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