chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
