A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
