Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
