my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
