my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
