Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
It's no shave November. This is our time.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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