she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
