summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
