Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
