After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
