wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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