...so i touched it.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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