Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
