apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
