Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
