Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
