People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
