am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
