Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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