if only i could text you this smell
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
