were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Two words: blizzard sex
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