Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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