Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
