I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
