I just saw a hot homeless man
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I lost the right to judge tonight
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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