true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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