Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
