I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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