i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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