I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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