This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
