holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
