I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
