Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
