Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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