What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
