Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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