is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
