I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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