Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
