I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
