Do you still have your period?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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