I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Randomize
