so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You are a booty call, not a friend.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
