I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
