the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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