Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
