I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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