Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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