I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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